This is a picture drawn by a third grade child showing her worldview after her parents divorce. 

 

If you are a parent at the time of a separation, the children’s welfare is always paramount. All parents love and want the best for their children.  

 

Often the decision of how to raise the children after the separation becomes emotional for a variety of reasons. Fear and anger often come into play. Many unconsciously use the children as the battleground for proving who is right in the divorce.

 

Courts usually seek to preserve the status quo when it comes to children. There is also a trend toward shared custody, which works best when both parents are willing to put their differences aside for the benefit of their children. The courts rely heavily on the reports from Family Court Services in making custody decisions. What is important is not who is the good or bad person as much as whether the parents are child centered and able to provide the love, nurture and guidance the children need. 

 

It is important to have assistance to work through these difficult steps in resolving a divorce. Understanding what is the best solution for the children and presenting it properly makes all the difference.